Instead of praising your child for being smart or talented, it is more effective to focus on specific achievements, effort, or problem-solving techniques. By doing so, your child will understand what they did well and what they can aim for next time. This kind of encouragement builds their confidence and resilience, making them more willing to try new things and learn from their mistakes. By teaching them that it’s okay to make mistakes and keep trying, you are setting them up for future success and growth.
Furthermore, managing a child’s emotions is another important aspect of parenting. Tantrums and meltdowns are common occurrences, and it’s crucial to handle them effectively. This video will debunk ineffective advice on dealing with toddler tantrums, provide insights into the brain science behind these emotional outbursts, and explain why it’s often not your child’s fault. Make sure to watch the video to gain evidence-based information on how to navigate these challenging situations. avoid those challenging tasks and choose easier ones to maintain their perfect image. This pattern of praise can have detrimental effects on their confidence and willingness to take on new challenges.
The Study by Carol Dweck
To further understand the impact of praise on a child’s confidence, renowned psychologist Carol Dweck and her colleagues conducted a study with fifth graders. The children were initially given a basic test and then praised in different ways. Some were complimented on their intelligence, while others were praised for their effort. After this initial praise, the children were offered a choice between an easy task and a challenging one.
Results of the Study
The results of the study were insightful. A significant majority of the children who were praised for being smart chose the easier task, fearing that they would not meet the expectations associated with their intelligence. In contrast, the children who were praised for their effort were more likely to choose the challenging task, eager to prove themselves.
During the subsequent challenging test, the children praised for their effort demonstrated more persistence and enjoyment, while those praised for being smart became frustrated and gave up early. Surprisingly, when given another test similar to the first one, the average scores of the “intelligence praise” group dropped by 20%, while the “effort praise” group’s scores surged by nearly 30%.
These results suggest that praising children for their intelligence can lead them to avoid challenges, crumble under difficulties, and become more cautious. In contrast, praising their effort and approach encourages them to persist, enjoy challenges, and improve their performance.
The Importance of Specific Praise
When praising children, it is crucial to focus on specifics rather than generalizations. Instead of telling your child they are smart or talented, compliment their approach, celebrate specific achievements, or acknowledge their persistence or effort. By highlighting what they did well and what they can improve on, children develop a growth mindset and feel brave enough to try new things.
Examples of Effective Praise
Here are some examples of specific praise statements you can use:
- “I noticed you struggled to reach your toys, but you got creative with that stool!”
- “Look at you, you put your shirt on all by yourself!”
- “Your drawing has so many bright colors!”
- “I can see you’ve been practicing your jumping. Every day you’re jumping a little higher. Keep going!”
- “You’ve worked really hard to build that block tower.”
By using language that children can understand and emphasizing their effort and achievements, you help build their confidence and resilience.
Using Language that Children Understand
When praising children, it is essential to use language that they can understand. As parents, we often slip into using adult language without realizing it, making it difficult for our little ones to comprehend our praises. Understanding what language skills to expect at different ages can help you communicate more effectively with your child.
Refer to the Communication Milestone Chart, which provides a guide to language skills at each age from one to four years old. Using age-appropriate language ensures that your child clearly comprehends your praise and encouragement.
Managing Big Emotions in Children
In addition to praising children effectively, it is crucial for parents to help their children manage big emotions. Tantrums and meltdowns are common in young children, and it is essential to approach them with evidence-based advice.
Debunking ineffective advice, understanding the brain science behind tantrums, and recognizing that these outbursts are not your child’s fault can greatly help in managing these high emotional moments. Teaching your child that it is okay to make mistakes, encouraging them to try again, and providing them with a safe environment to express their emotions contribute to their overall well-being.
Building Confidence and Resilience By utilizing effective praise techniques, understanding language skills at different ages, and managing big emotions in children, parents can empower their children and build their confidence and resilience. Encouraging children to take risks, praising their effort and approach, and providing them with a safe space to explore and make mistakes contribute to their overall development.
Remember, your words and actions as a parent have a significant impact on your child’s confidence and outlook on challenges. By being mindful of how you praise and communicate with your child, you can help them develop a growth mindset and thrive in various aspects of life.