Hey guys in today’s video we’re talking about a topic that is not often discussed and we men rarely want to admit that it happens – it’s called new dad jealousy. But first, I want to be very clear, if you’re experiencing new dad jealousy, you are totally normal. Nothing is wrong with you. We are going to discuss why new dads feel this jealousy and what you can do if you’re feeling this way.

My name is Jason Kreidman, the founder of Dad University. If you’re interested in learning about our membership, visit daduniversity.com for more information. So, why do new dads sometimes feel jealous? Well, I’ve come up with a few typical reasons. Number one, attention. This is probably the most popular reason a new father feels jealous – the attention that his partner is giving to the new baby. The baby requires a lot of care and attention which can be time-consuming and can leave the father feeling neglected. Number two, insecurity. A new father may feel insecure about his abilities as a parent, especially if he has limited experience with infants. This insecurity can manifest as jealousy towards his partner or the baby. Number three, lack of control. The arrival of a new baby can disrupt a father’s routine and sense of control over his life. This loss of control can be difficult to cope with, and the father may feel jealous of his partner’s ability to manage the situation better. Number four, expectations. Society has certain expectations of fathers and their role in raising children. A new father may feel pressure to conform to these expectations and may become jealous of his partner’s seemingly natural ability to care for the baby. And finally, number five, relationship changes. The arrival of a new baby can also bring changes to the relationship between the father and his partner. The father may feel jealous of the attention his partner is giving to the baby or he may feel left out of the new bond that’s forming between his partner and the baby.

Reasons for New Dad Jealousy

Attention

One of the main reasons why new dads may feel jealous is due to the attention their partner is giving to the new baby. Babies require a lot of care and attention, which can be time-consuming and leave the father feeling neglected. It’s natural for the mother to focus most of her attention on the baby, but this shift in attention can make the father feel left out and jealous.

Insecurity

New fathers may also experience feelings of insecurity about their abilities as parents, especially if they have limited experience with infants. This insecurity can manifest as jealousy towards their partner or the baby. They may feel inadequate compared to their partner, who may have a seemingly natural ability to care for the baby.

Lack of control

The arrival of a new baby can disrupt a father’s routine and his sense of control over his life. This loss of control can be difficult to cope with, and the father may feel jealous of his partner’s ability to manage the situation better. The father may struggle to find his place and adjust to the new demands and responsibilities that come with being a dad.

Expectations

Society has certain expectations of fathers and their role in raising children. A new father may feel pressure to conform to these expectations and may become jealous of his partner’s seemingly natural ability to care for the baby. He may feel inadequate compared to societal standards and struggle to find his own parenting style.

Relationship changes

The arrival of a new baby can also bring changes to the relationship between the father and his partner. The father may feel jealous of the attention his partner is giving to the baby or feel left out of the new bond that’s forming between his partner and the baby. Prior to the baby’s arrival, the father may have felt ignored or left out as everyone focused on the mother and the baby. This shift in attention can be challenging for the father to navigate, leading to feelings of resentment, frustration, and even anger.

Dealing with New Dad Jealousy

Acknowledge your feelings

The first step in dealing with new dad jealousy is to acknowledge your feelings. Don’t try to hide how you feel or think that you shouldn’t feel jealous. It’s normal to feel this way, and acknowledging your feelings allows you to better understand and address them. Tell yourself that it’s okay to feel jealous and that this feeling doesn’t make you a bad dad or partner.

Spend quality time with the baby

One way to reduce feelings of jealousy and strengthen your bond with the baby is to spend quality time together. Get involved in diaper changes, feedings, bath time, playtime, and bedtime routines. Engaging in these activities allows you to actively participate in your child’s care and better understand the joys and challenges of parenting. It can also help you feel more connected to the baby and reduce feelings of jealousy.

Practice self-care

Being a new parent is exhausting, and practicing self-care is crucial. Take some time for yourself to relax and recharge. Get enough sleep, eat well, and engage in activities that make you feel happy and fulfilled. When you feel good about yourself, it becomes easier to manage difficult emotions and navigate the challenges of new fatherhood.

Communicate with your partner

It’s important to communicate your feelings and desires with your partner. Instead of complaining or expressing frustration, communicate your desire to connect and spend quality time together. This may involve hiring a babysitter, enlisting the help of a friend or family member, or finding other ways to carve out time for each other. Keeping the lines of communication open can help strengthen your relationship and address any feelings of jealousy.

Seek support from other new fathers

Connect with other new fathers who may be experiencing similar feelings. Join a support group, attend parenting classes, or seek out online communities where you can share your experiences and receive support. Talking to other dads who have gone through or are going through the same emotions can provide valuable insight, guidance, and reassurance. Knowing that you’re not alone can be comforting and help you navigate new dad jealousy.

In conclusion, new dad jealousy is a common and normal feeling that many fathers experience. It’s important to acknowledge and address these feelings, as they can impact your well-being and relationships. By understanding the reasons behind new dad jealousy and employing strategies to cope with it, you can navigate this new chapter in your life as a dad with confidence and support. Remember, you’re not alone, and with time and effort, it will get easier.