In the name of Hapa Family, an amazing mom named Ashley explores the concept of sharing in a Montessori-at-home setting. With two daughters, a toddler, and a preschooler, Ashley has encountered her fair share of sharing dilemmas and is here to share her experiences and insights with you. Ashley emphasizes that sharing is a learned behavior, which means that children are not born knowing how to share. Through the Montessori approach, Ashley teaches children to share by taking turns and problem-solving on their own. She also highlights the importance of parents modeling and facilitating sharing skills, and offers helpful tips on managing conflicts over toys and fostering consistency in turn-taking. Ultimately, Ashley aims to create an open and supportive space where parents can navigate the complex world of sharing with their little ones through the lens of Montessori principles.
Introduction
Sharing is a concept that adults often expect children to understand and practice from a young age. However, the Montessori approach recognizes that sharing is a learned behavior and that children may not be developmentally ready to share until later years. Instead of forcing children to share, Montessori focuses on scaffolding sharing skills from birth through the preschool years. In this article, we will explore the Montessori approach to sharing, the parent’s role in teaching sharing skills, developmental differences in sharing, approaches to playdates, establishing norms and expectations, and finding the balance between helping children and allowing them to develop sharing skills on their own.
Montessori Approach to Sharing
The Montessori approach to sharing starts by recognizing that sharing is a learned behavior rather than something that children are born knowing how to do. It understands that children might not want to share their toys and possessions, especially in the first few years of their life. Instead of forcing sharing, Montessori focuses on teaching children to share by taking turns and problem-solving on their own. This approach scaffolds sharing skills from birth through the preschool years.
Recognizing sharing as a learned behavior
The Montessori approach understands that sharing is not an innate behavior for children. It recognizes that children need guidance and support in learning how to share their belongings with others. By acknowledging that sharing is a learned behavior, parents and caregivers can approach teaching sharing with patience and understanding.
Scaffolding sharing skills from birth through preschool years
Montessori believes in starting to scaffold sharing skills from birth itself. Even infants can be introduced to the concept of sharing by allowing them to take turns with toys and objects, even if it’s just for a few seconds. As children grow older and enter the toddler and preschool years, parents can continue to provide opportunities for sharing and turn-taking.
Teaching sharing through turn-taking and problem-solving
Instead of forcing children to share, Montessori encourages turn-taking and problem-solving. This approach helps children develop important social skills while respecting their individual needs and preferences. By allowing children to take turns and find solutions to conflicts on their own, Montessori promotes independence and autonomy in sharing.
Parent’s Role
Parents play a crucial role in teaching sharing skills to their children. Modeling and facilitating sharing skills, validating and empathizing with children’s feelings during conflicts, and maintaining consistency in teaching turn-taking are key aspects of the parent’s role in teaching sharing.
Modeling and facilitating sharing skills
Children learn by observing and imitating their parents. Therefore, it is essential for parents to model sharing behaviors themselves. Parents can demonstrate sharing by taking turns with their child during playtime or by sharing belongings within the family. Additionally, parents can facilitate sharing by providing opportunities for their child to share and by offering guidance and support during conflicts.
Validating and empathizing with children’s feelings during conflicts
Conflicts can arise when children are expected to share their toys or possessions. It is important for parents to validate their child’s feelings and empathize with them during these conflicts. By acknowledging their emotions and perspectives, parents can help their child feel understood and supported. This validation allows children to develop a sense of empathy and better navigate sharing situations.
Importance of consistency in teaching turn-taking
Consistency is crucial in teaching turn-taking and sharing skills. Children thrive in a predictable environment, where they know what is expected of them. By setting consistent rules and expectations around turn-taking, parents can help their children develop a routine and understanding of how sharing works. Consistency also helps children feel secure and confident in their ability to share.
Developmental Differences in Sharing
Sharing skills can vary depending on a child’s age and stage of development. Babies are generally more flexible when it comes to sharing, while older toddlers and preschoolers require more guidance.
Flexibility in sharing for babies
Babies are still developing their social and cognitive skills, including the ability to share. They may not fully understand the concept of ownership or possessiveness. However, parents can still introduce the idea of sharing to babies by allowing them to take turns with toys or objects, even for a brief moment. This early exposure sets the foundation for later sharing skills.
Guidance needed for older toddlers and preschoolers
As children grow older, sharing becomes more complex. Older toddlers and preschoolers have a stronger sense of ownership and may be more possessive of their belongings. They may also face challenges in sharing due to their developing social skills and limited understanding of empathy. In this stage, parents play a crucial role in guiding them through sharing situations and helping them develop the necessary skills to share with others.
Approach to Playdates
Playdates provide valuable opportunities for children to practice sharing and social skills. The Montessori approach to playdates focuses on respecting individual parenting philosophies and using open communication to ensure a positive and enriching experience for all children involved.
Respecting individual parenting philosophies
Every parent has their own unique approach to parenting, including their perspective on sharing. Montessori encourages parents to respect and understand each other’s parenting philosophies during playdates. This means being mindful of different rules and expectations regarding sharing and finding common ground that respects everyone’s preferences.
Using open communication
Open communication is essential in creating a harmonious playdate environment. Parents can communicate their expectations regarding sharing to other parents before the playdate. Additionally, during the playdate, parents can encourage open communication between children by fostering an environment where they can express their needs, negotiate, and find mutually agreeable solutions.
Establishing Norms and Expectations
Establishing norms and expectations around turn-taking can help manage conflicts over long turns with toys and activities. By setting clear guidelines and consistently reinforcing them, parents can create a supportive environment where children learn to share and take turns with minimal conflict.
Managing conflicts over long turns with toys and activities
Some toys or activities may require longer turns or more focused attention from children. This can sometimes lead to conflicts when another child wants a turn. Parents can establish norms and expectations around long turns, ensuring that each child has an equal opportunity to engage in the desired activity. This can be done through verbal reminders, timers, or visual cues, depending on the child’s age and understanding.
Finding the Balance
Finding the balance between helping children as little as possible but as much as necessary is essential in developing sharing skills. While it is important for parents to support and guide their children, it is equally important to allow children to develop their problem-solving and sharing skills independently.
Helping children as little as possible but as much as necessary
Parents should aim to strike a balance between offering assistance when needed and allowing children to navigate sharing situations on their own. By giving children space to problem-solve and find solutions, parents empower them to develop their own sharing skills. However, it is crucial for parents to step in when necessary, offering guidance, mediation, and support during conflicts.
Conclusion
The Montessori approach to sharing recognizes that sharing is a learned behavior and focuses on scaffolding sharing skills from birth through the preschool years. By teaching sharing through turn-taking and problem-solving, parents can help children develop the social skills necessary for sharing with others. Understanding the developmental differences in sharing, respecting individual parenting philosophies during playdates, establishing norms and expectations, and finding the balance between helping children and allowing them to develop sharing skills independently are key aspects of applying the Montessori approach to sharing. Through patience, understanding, and consistent guidance, parents can foster a positive sharing experience for their children and support their overall social and emotional development.