Are you having trouble getting your kids to listen and respect you? In this video by Live On Purpose TV, Dr. Paul Jenkins shares a story he learned from one of his clients and offers advice on how to address this issue. He emphasizes the importance of understanding your child’s moral development and tailoring your approach to their stage. From stage 1, which is more self-centered, to stage 3, which focuses on responsibility, Dr. Jenkins explains that the reasons children listen and respect vary. He also encourages parents to model listening and respect by paying attention to their children and valuing their ideas and opinions. To learn more about effective parenting strategies, Dr. Jenkins suggests visiting the Parenting Power-Up website.
Parenting can be challenging, especially when it comes to getting kids to listen and respect you. In this video by Live On Purpose TV, Dr. Paul Jenkins provides insights and tips based on his experience working with clients. He explores the different stages of moral development in children and highlights the reasons why they may choose to listen and respect you at each stage. Dr. Jenkins emphasizes the importance of modeling behavior and respect by actively listening to your children and valuing what they have to say. For more resources and guidance on positive parenting, Dr. Jenkins recommends visiting the Parenting Power-Up website.
Modeling Listening and Respect for Kids
Introduction
As parents, one of our greatest challenges is getting our kids to listen and respect us. In this article, we will explore the importance of modeling listening and respect for children. By understanding their developmental perspective and using positive and calm approaches, we can effectively teach kids the value of listening and respect. We will also share an example story of a parent who successfully taught respect to her teenage sons.
Understanding the Developmental Perspective
To truly understand why kids should listen to us, we need to consider their stage of moral development. According to Dr. Paul Jenkins, there are three stages of moral development – stage 1, stage 2, and stage 3. In stage 1, children are self-centered and focused on their own needs and desires. External consequences are what drive their behavior. In stage 2, children start to understand the benefits of cooperation and how things can go better for them if they listen. Stage 3, the most mature stage, is all about responsibility and doing the right thing. Understanding these stages helps us tailor our approach to each child’s developmental level.
Why Should Kids Listen to You?
At each stage of moral development, children have different reasons for listening. In stage 1, children may listen because there is something in it for them or to avoid negative consequences. In stage 2, they understand that listening benefits them and others around them. In stage 3, children listen because they respect and trust us as wise individuals who can guide them in making good choices. By recognizing the reasons behind their behavior, we can better communicate with them and motivate them to listen and respect.
Importance of Modeling Listening and Respect
As parents, it is crucial that we model listening and respect for our children. Listening to our kids means actively tuning in to what they are saying without interrupting or waiting for our turn to speak. It shows them that we value their thoughts and opinions. By modeling respect, we teach them how to treat others and earn their respect in return. When we listen attentively and respectfully, it creates a positive and supportive environment that encourages open communication.
Stay Positive and Calm
Maintaining a positive and calm demeanor is essential when teaching kids to listen and respect. It is crucial to control our emotional life and not let ourselves get easily upset or provoked. By staying calm, we become better role models for our children, showing them how to handle challenging situations with composure and kindness. Our emotional state impacts the way we interact with our kids, so it’s crucial to cultivate a positive and calm mindset.
Teaching Kids Respect
Teaching respect starts with a calm and positive approach. Instead of reprimanding or criticizing, we can explain to our children why certain behaviors are disrespectful and how they can show respect in their words and actions. Ultimately, teaching respect is a training process that requires consistency and patience. By establishing clear expectations, setting boundaries, and introducing effective strategies, we can help our children develop respectful behavior.
Example Story: Teaching Respect
A mom, during Dr. Paul Jenkins’ internship in Portland, had two teenage sons who were being disrespectful. Despite their size and strength, she wanted to teach them respect. Together, they came up with a plan. When the boys used disrespectful language in the car, she calmly addressed the issue, but they continued their behavior. So, she pulled the car over and asked them to get out. Though she couldn’t enforce this, she stayed calm and got out, taking the car keys with her. After a few minutes, she returned to the car with a smile, and the boys were humbled. By staying positive, calm, and enforcing consequences, the mom successfully taught her sons the importance of respect.
Conclusion
Modeling listening and respect is essential for teaching children to do the same. By understanding their developmental perspective and using a positive and calm approach, we can effectively instill these values in our kids. It is crucial to recognize their reasons for listening at each stage of moral development and tailor our communication accordingly. By modeling active listening and respect, we create an environment that fosters open communication and mutual respect. Together, we can raise respectful and empathetic children who value and practice listening and respect in all aspects of their lives.